The Mud Puppy (mudpuppy83) wrote in godzillafix,
The Mud Puppy

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The Monsters Are In Revolt!

Well, I subjected myself to the Japanese version of All Monsters Attack (aka Godzilla's Revenge) that Classic Media was nice enough to put out.


I, uh...I...


Well, the DVD is quite good. The quality of the film is great; even the stock footage looks crisp and clear. The sound is good and the subtitles are pretty well done, aside from the rather amusing introduction of "Gorozaurus."

The movie itself

Well, it's still better than Godzilla vs. Megalon, but then so is being bitten by an angry mongoose.

At least it can't be said that the film tricks you into thinking it will be good, because the credits sequence is accompanied by a pop song. An awful pop song. I don't mean a goofy, so bad it's good J-Pop song.

I mean a shrieking, screeching voice singing--no, shouting mind-numbing lyrics like "Mi Mi Minilla! Poo Poo Poo!"I mean it will make your ears bleed bad.

I think this song could cause cancer in rats.

And for those who were wondering if the Japanese version makes it any clearer as to whether or not in this film's reality there really is a Godzilla, or if he's just a movie, it friggin' does not.

Although it does suggest that in Japan, adults worship God while children worship monsters. Apparently we weren't shown the scenes of Ichiro worshiping Cthulhu.

There are some amusing differences between this version and the English version. For one thing, Ichiro swears a lot more. Not Tarantino-type swearing, mind you, but still. I also enjoyed his internal monologues, the best being, "Bad man fall through the floor! Bad man fall through the floor! Bad man fall through the floor!"

The other thing is that whereas the English version gives Minilla a silly male voice that sounds like Bullwinkle, the Japanese version gives him a feminine voice that sounds more like Rocky. And, for some damn reason, the voice is muffled. This makes it seem as if the voice is coming from the person in the suit. Which is stupid.

On the plus side, this voice means we are denied such idiotic lines as, "Take that, weirdo!" However, it makes Ichiro's relationship with Minilla a lot creepier. Why? Because when I say a feminine voice, I don't mean Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson feminine. I mean, sexy Japanese woman feminine. The, uh, grunting noises she makes at certain points don't help any.

Between the new, sexy female Minilla and the kindly neighbor who is creepy as hell, I wonder that any parents in Japan ever showed this to their kids.

Then again, I really shouldn't be surprised.

And yes, this film still has an awful moral wherein Ichiro beats up the bully and then still does what the bully wanted him to do anyways, which results in an innocent stranger getting hurt. It'd be like an After school Special where the plucky teen hero just says no to drugs, gets the drug dealer arrested...and then ends the show by smokin' down a big fattie.

Though I'm still convinced that the makers of Home Alone saw this film. Hell, just substitute a giant monster film for that gangster film Kevin watches and Toho could sue for plagiarism.

I have to ask, though; why is it that everybody hates Gabara so much? He's a giant, electrified ogre that warbles--how can you not love that? He's pretty damned creepy, in his own way--I'm also pretty sure his design was inspired by the fire demon from Night of the Demon (aka Curse of the Demon). Not to mention clearly sadistic enough to pick on a baby monster, while also having the cajones to try and take on Godzilla.

Sure, he gets the crap kicked out of him, forced to limp away in humiliation as Ichiro teasingly cries, "Gabara the Cripple! Gabara the Cripple!" But he shot for the moon, and he burned up on re-entry.

He could still kick Jet Jaguar's ass.
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Godzilla vs. Megalon is one of my favorite G films :(

So I saw that there is apparently commentary for this disk. I've noticed that many of them have commentary, but somehow I think the commentary for this movie would be pretty spectacular. Has anyone ever listened to the commentary on any of the Classic Media releases? Are they worthwhile to listen to?
I haven't yet, but I really should. I've heard that the commentators tend to digress a bit too much, though. And I think the commentary is only for the English versions, which makes a certain amount of sense, I guess.
I haven't had a chance to really give a listen to any of the commentaries other than on Gojira. I'd HIGHLY recommend watching that one, as well as the commentary for KotM. They did an excellent job. It's a shame that the later releases don't feature commentary on both versions of the film.
Good review, Yeah I hate Godzilla's Revenge. I think its the one I would never pick up. Though I would have to disagree on Godzilla vs. Megalon. I would love to see a Jet Jaguar movie, but you knowe make it darker. Kind of like what you would see in EVA, or RahXephon.
See, I prefer All Monsters Attack/Godzilla's Revenge because it's just so wrong-headed that it becomes so bad it's good. I mean, seriously, who thought this film was a good idea?

Meanwhile, Godzilla vs. Megalon has no excuse. It's trying to be a typical Godzilla movie and it just fails. Don't get me wrong, I'd still love it if Classic Media were able to put it out on DVD, but like All Monsters Attack it wouldn't make the film itself any better.

And recently, for fun, I've been doing some sketches of Jet Jaguar to try and make him cooler. Through my efforts I have discovered that there is just no way to make Jet Jaguar cool.

Gabara on the other hand, deserves a role in a decent movie.
I really can't picture Jet Jaguar in a "darker" film. Like mudpuppy83 said, there's just no way to make him THAT cool. There's also a complete lack of any sort of interesting back-story for him, unlike the mecha in Evangelion or RahXephon.
I did try making him cool. Mounting laser cannons in his arms, giving him claws on his fingers, putting jets on his back, giving his body a more robotic appearance, and replacing that stupid face with a painted-on one like you'd see on older fighter planes. Y'know, snarling toothy mouth and scowling eyes.

But even then in my mind he'd appear just as some inventor's misguided attempt to build an anti-Godzilla weapon and then get turned into scrap metal after a brief skirmish with the Big G.
Godzilla's Revenge was and still is my least favorite G film. Godzilla vs. Megalon can at least keep me entertained while laughing at it... especially the MST3K version.

I agree that Gabara, while strange, deserves another film appearance. I mean come on... there's going to be a new Guilala movie. lol
I had to admit, even my own affection for Gabara was strained while watching him making overly dramatic "grabs" at Minilla and missing by a mile. And for that matter the fact that he gets beaten up by Minilla courtesy of a see-saw trick.

Still, any critter that still has the brass ones to try and take on Godzilla right after getting beaten up by his juvenile son is okay in my book...
Well... considering he fell for the see-saw trick, I'm not so sure Gabara fought Godzilla to show off his massive cajones. There's a big difference between prideful bravery and courageous stupidity. Hahaha
Oh, Gabara was most certainly foolish. But it was still a gutsy move.

I wish they'd put him in a Godzilla game. I mean, they gave Jet Jaguar a chance, and just think about the possibilities for attacks:

He could fire a lightning bolt from his horn, and he could have a variety of physical attacks involving electricity. His grapple could be that move he pulls on Godzilla that involves completely enveloping his opponent in electricity.

Of course, there would have to actually be a 4th Godzilla game first...